His story started with him being born and his dad leaving his mom for another woman. His mom eventually remarried. He said he didn’t object because he wanted his mom to just be happy again. He says he’s an only child who’s got a lot of siblings. He would say that and then laugh, making him sound amused more than bitter or resentful. You’d be fooled into thinking he’s fine with everything. He ended up staying with his grandmother who took care of him. When she got old and sick, their roles reversed. He was taking care of her.I asked him about his family name. He carried
the name of his father who he never met. His mom after getting married got a new family name. I regretted ever asking because I felt overwhelming loneliness when he explained it to me. This boy is so alone.
He provides for himself now, renting a place not far from here. He lives alone and he would say things like he’s used to having to take care of himself. He’s only 23! My brother’s 23 and he can’t prepare himself one decent meal. I’m not supposed to but I really feel sorry for him and mad at his parents. Mad because they’re stupid to have a child and then just leave him in some kind of void in between the families they now have.
You would look at this person and you wouldn’t even get a clue of what’s going on in his head. He’s always smiling, joking about things, laughing a really annoying laugh.
You had to be there to really get why I’m saying all these things now.
How are you supposed to feel when someone tries to change everything he is just so you would take a second look at him.
Says things like he’ll have to get a different job so he could have a fighting chance to reach his dreams and he means you.
Looks at you and blurts out “you're beautiful”.
Makes mistakes when you’re away because instead of focusing, he’s worrying about you.
Says he misses you the moment you step out of sight.
When he won’t be able to see you he leaves messages and asks other people to ask you how you’re doing.
I hate myself for thinking I deserve someone better than this guy. I think about it and he doesn’t have a chance (not even a little bit). I wish someone could just look at me and say “I totally get it.”
From justjeni@tumblr.com
