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These walls reach out to remind me of the good times and the bad
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared.
It was almost 1am. The girls were still enjoying digging into each other’s thoughts and perceptions. A few girls took showers that made the room smell of scented soap and lotion. Listening to the barely audible tunes of ABBA, some were sprawled across mattresses that were laid out on the floor. The music and the cool air made us sleepy but the talk was far too
I can’t anymore recall when I made a pact with myself to keep all my frustrations, angst, and anger inside. To keep it trapped and wait for it to burst. Believing that when it bursts, I would finally break myself from the chains of my incapacities that bind me content with my life. Afraid of taking risks, I’ve only taken myself to the last step over the cliff but never had the guts to jump. And though at times, it felt that I have jumped, I wake up one morning, realizing, I’ve only bent down to see what’s below and felt the rush but never really jumped. 
More often than not, at least in the book of my life, the expected does not always come to pass. But when it does, it gives an utter sense of satisfaction, triumph and fulfillment. Funny thing though, it seems often not to last for long. Forgotten instantly when we have willed to achieve another. But when it doesn’t 
His story started with him being born and his dad leaving his mom for another woman. His mom eventually remarried. He said he didn’t object because he wanted his mom to just be happy again. He says he’s an only child who’s got a lot of siblings. He would say that and then laugh, making him sound amused more than bitter or resentful. You’d be fooled into thinking he’s fine with everything. He ended up staying with his grandmother who took care of him. When she got old and sick, their roles reversed. He was taking care of her.
I feel it more often now. More often I stare blankly at distant sights daydreaming. Daydreaming because I have no other outlet, no other person to talk to, to confide with. No sports I’m good at to distract my attention. More often I get jealous of others for 
I feel incompetent. It’s as if I only win, the few times that I do, because of the people I’m with and not because of what I contribute. On my own, I don’t think I would 
I often look out to the distant view hoping it would reveal some answers. And as distant as the view is how hopeless I know that I will receive enlightenment. Then I narrow my eyes and the image gets blurry. As habit, I have trapped myself in 
