It was almost 1am. The girls were still enjoying digging into each other’s thoughts and perceptions. A few girls took showers that made the room smell of scented soap and lotion. Listening to the barely audible tunes of ABBA, some were sprawled across mattresses that were laid out on the floor. The music and the cool air made us sleepy but the talk was far toointeresting to even consider sleep. Pairs huddled close together, sharing a blanket or a pillow or a shoulder.
She was sitting next to me and it was her turn. I was gonna be next, I was absent-mindedly hugging my knees, a blanket pulled over me. She said the name (I was suddenly paying full attention). She spilled everything. Not a thought spared. Feelings, that was what she called them. The littlest flinch did not escape me (feelings, she said). Lucky boy, I thought (slightly smiling at my internal joke). Sooner than I had expected, she was done. I only had a quick moment to think.
The first boy to have crossed my mind. A former crush. Long forgotten admiration put to good use. Typical, they said, expected too. I couldn’t possibly say “oh same as hers”. It would totally kill her moment. Feelings, she called them. I couldn’t get over it.
It took me less than a minute to elaborate. Partly because it wasn’t true. Well, it used to be true but not anymore.
A few months passed since that sleepover. I told one of the girls the truth - the one I hid. She said, “thank you for taking the feelings of your sister into consideration but it was at your expense.”
Who knows if the truth will ever come out. I hope I’m the one who gets to say it first.
From justjeni@tumblr.com
